Icha Icha Come Back!
by Backlite
Summary: There is a new volume of Icha Icha Paradisu out and Kakashi will do anything to get his hands on it, but the circumstances are against him. Will he get his precious book? Rated for language, if there isn't some in there now, there will be.
1. Crows

Backlite: So this is my first fic under this account, had some others but there was some family problems and all that, so here we are. If you have read my profile you will know that I am a diehard Kakashi fan, so it seems appropriate that my first fic is about him.

Kakashi: Fan? Yea right. You just love to torture me. grumbles/

Backlite/Grin/ I have to admit it is fun.

Kakashi: Someone, please…kill me now…

**Disclaimer: **Do I own Kakashi /huggles Kakashi/ the world of Naruto or any of the other characters that happen to pop up later in this fic? Well, what do you think? (Kakashi: Noooooooooooooooo!)

-------------------------------------------------------

When Hatake Kakashi woke up that morning he already knew exactly how his day was going to go, or at least he thought he did. But as it happened, Konoha's famous copy-nin was about to become a living representation of the saying "the best laid plans of mice and men always go awry."

He popped out of bed bright and early, throwing on some cloths and hurrying out the door in to the pale light of the dawn. Today was the day he had been waiting for.

Quickly he made his way down the street; it took all of his will to keep from running to his destination.

Usually Kakashi wouldn't have risked his reputation of always being late, but this was more important. He arrived at the store nearly fifteen minutes _before_ it opened. Pacing back and forth restlessly he peered in the window to watch the shopkeeper getting everything ready.

He stopped as the man walked up to the door, getting ready to unlock it. Keen senses picked up the click of the lock…the door was opening…and he was in! The jounin nearly bowled the poor man over in his rush to get inside, but he barely noticed.

He rushed to the shelves where his desire had always been displayed and quickly scanned titles. His single blue eye widened and he looked again. A sense of foreboding settled in the pit of his stomach. It wasn't there.

But there was still hope. Maybe it had only been move to another place in the store. Straitening up he glanced frantically around for the shopkeeper. "Excuse me sir," his voice was almost pleading. "But the books that were here…Icha Icha Paradisu…where are they?"

Yes, this was the day that a new volume of Icha Icha Paradisu was to be available. (A/N guessed it didn't u XD) Kakashi had been waiting for months, and now he held his breath, waiting for the shopkeepers answer.

The man snorted and frowned in disapproval. "Those dirty things? We don't sell them here any more."

Kakashi felt like the world had fallen out from under him. _Not here? _There was an ominous ringing in his ears at those words. What evil had come upon the world that his Icha Icha books were no longer sold?

_But he said not _here.

That was it! Maybe this store didn't sell them anymore, but they had to be somewhere. There were a lot of bookstores in Konoha. He would just have to go find it someplace else.

Before the shopkeeper could say another word the jounin was out the door, vanishing like the wind itself.

Kakashi ran to the next bookstore. There was no time to waste; he_ had _to get that book! He arrived and shoved his way through the door, hurrying up to the girl at the counter.

"Icha Icha Paradisu. You sell it here?"

She gave him a totally disgusted look. "Of course not! I wouldn't be working here if we did."

The Copy-nin growled in frustration and left just as quickly as he came.

Thirty minutes later he stood in front of the last book store in Konoha that he had yet to check. He hesitated to go in, despair weighing heavily on his shoulders. He couldn't believe that his precious books weren't sold _anywhere _in Konoha, but this store was the last. If they didn't have it he would have to admit that his Icha Icha novels were just _not there._

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself for the worst, he walked into the tiny shop. He spotted his prize immediately, a single copy sitting forlornly on a back shelf. Rushing forward he snatched it up, shoving a fellow customer into a shelf as he went.

Ignoring the cursing man who was now covered in a pile of books he walked up to the cashier, clutching his book. "I would like to buy this please."

The man gave him a _very _annoyed look, but took his money and gave him a receipt in turn.

Grinning widely under his mask Kakashi left the shop, previous depression forgotten. He had his book! There was nothing that could go wrong now. (A/N /evil laugh/)

He hurried out into the forest. Now all he had to do was find a place to hole up for the day so he could read undisturbed. As he slowed to a walk under the trees he could no long contain his joy.

Holding his prized novel up in the air he let out a whoop that would have left anyone who knew him totally dumbstruck, it was so un-Kakashi like. Well at least a sober Kakashi.

That outburst was to be his downfall.

A raven happened to be sitting in a nearby tree, and as the shinobi held his book up a patch of light glinting off the cover caught the eye of the bird. Being a rabid collector of shiny objects it just couldn't resist.

Stooping on the unsuspecting man its extended claws plucked the book right out of his grasp.

Kakashi froze in mid-cheer and looked up to stare at his now empty hand. He stayed like that for a moment, unmoving, then he looked after the thief. In an instant he was up in the trees and after the creature.

He had gone through emotional hell (as kakashi saw it) to get that book and _nothing _was going to take it away from him.

The bird led him on a marry chase through the forest, always staying just far enough ahead that the shinobi couldn't take it out with his weapons. Finally it reached it's nest and dropped the book inside.

Kakashi didn't even wait for it to fly away again. He scrambled up the tree, scaring the poor bird right out of the nest and snatched his precious novel away from the animal.

But it wasn't going to be that easy. As soon as the bird registered that this human-thing was _raiding its nest_, it let out a shriek of rage that echoed through the forest, bouncing off the trees.

But the echo went on longer than it should, and was getting louder, not softer. Kakashi looked around and suddenly realized that this wasn't the only nest in this grove of trees. "Uh oh…"

Ravens shot out of the foliage, coming at the silver-haired shinobi from all directions. There was no way he could defend himself, there were just too many of the animals. As the raised his hands to protect his face from sharp claws and beaks the book was knocked from his hands.

Kakashi howled as he watched his precious book fall to the ground. Then his eye widened as something ran out of the bushes. _A cat. _The copy-nin watched in horror as a _cat_ jumped out and grabbed his book in its teeth.

"Noooooooo!" The jounin threw himself out of the tree, landing beside the feline fiend and making a grab for it. He missed, getting a handful of fur, and not much else. The startled animal jumped away from him and ran in the direction of the village.

Kakashi was unable to keep his eyes on it as he was still being attacked on all sides by angry ravens. Getting to his feet he ran, trying to fend off birds as he went.

He managed to evade the angry creatures, but he _had _to get that cat. He looked down at his hand, still clutching some of the cat's orange fur, and an idea began to form.

Pulling out a scroll he quickly slit his thumb on a kunai and drew his blood over the names it held. Calling out the words to activate it he threw the scroll at the ground. There was a puff of smoke, and when it cleared he was surrounded by dogs of several types.

Holding out the handful of fur for the nin-dogs to smell he gave them their orders. "I need you to find me this cat, and bring me back the book it is carrying. Now go!"

They were off instantly. It wasn't often that they got orders to do what all dogs loved to do: chase cats.

Only one was left standing beside his master. The small brown pug looked up at the silver-haired jounin with amusement. "Lost something have you?"

Kakashi gave a single-eyed glare that would have melted steel. "Shut up Pakkun, and do your job. After that cat!"

-------------------------------------------------------

Backlite: Am I evil? Yes I am.

Kakashi: yes, you are.

Backlite: Don't worry people, it gets even more crazy after this.

Kakashi: Oh joy…


	2. Iruka

Backlite: Ok, chapter 2 already.

Kakashi: Oh _wonderful_, more torture.

Backlite: love Kakashi 8) making him suffer over Icha Icha Paradisu is just sooooo fun XD.

Kakashi: Sadistic #&!#&

Backlite: Guilty XD

**Disclaimer:** Own Naruto? Me? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-------------------------------------------------------

Kakashi ran through the trees, hot on the heels of his nin-dogs. That cat was _not_ going to get away! People dodged out of the way as the raging procession left the forest for the streets of Konoha.

Kakashi didn't realize where they were headed until they turned a corner to see the school, children dotting the grounds on their way to school.

He saw the book, still caught in the cat's mouth. He saw the cat, clutched in the arms of a little girl. He saw the dogs, bearing down on the pair with death in their eyes.

And he saw Umino Iruka, rushing out to save his student with death in _his _eyes.

Uh oh… 

Iruka, with his legendary quickness, snatched girl and cat both out of harms way, just before the nin-dogs reached them.

Kakashi banished the dogs before they could cause any more problems. He knew by the look on Iruka's face that he was in enough trouble already, and he had found the cat, there was really no reason for them to stick around.

Iruka rounded on him, his face going crimson with rage, the little girl, now crying hysterically, still clutched in his arms, and the cat with her. Kakashi braced himself for the outburst he knew was coming. He wasn't disappointed.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING KAKASHI!" the chunin roared, making the jounin wince, despite being prepared for it. "YOU WERE ABOUT TO ATTACK A CHILD! LOOK AT HER KAKASHI! SHE'S A LITTLE GIRL! WHAT THE _HELL_ WERE YOU DOING!"

Kakashi pointed at the squirming cat and meekly tried to explain. "I just wanted my book…"

"Oh so _that's _what this was about is it?" Iruka's face turned, if possible, an even darker shade of red, his voice now dangerously low. "You would attack a child to get your precious book would you? Well I'll tell you what, not _only_ am I going to report you to the Hokage, I am going to _keep _this book! It'll be good for you to get away from it anyway. You're _obviously_ obsessed."

"But Iruka!" Kakashi protested. "My book!"

Iruka turned his back. "I thought better of you Kakashi, really I did."

Kakashi stared forlornly at the teachers retreating back. How was he going to get his book back _now_?

He continued to stand there for several minutes letting despair take him. The spell was broken as he spotted Iruka leaving the building, supposedly to have a talk with the Hokage, _immediately._

The jounin sighed, then a plan sprang into his mind. Maybe Iruka hadn't taken the book with him? Maybe it was still up in his room. Well, he was already in it deep, why not go take his book back. He should be able to get at least _some _of it read before the summons came to see the Hokage for his punishment.

He waited till Iruka was out of sight before slipping in the window. Quickly walking to the desk he pried open one of the drawers and reached in to feel around for the book. It wasn't there. He made to pull his hand out of the drawer and stopped. He was stuck.

Kakashi cursed under his breath. A trap. Why hadn't he seen this coming? But that was easy enough to answer. He could never think strait when Icha Icha was on the line.

Half an hour later Iruka and Tsunade Hokage walked into the classroom to find Kakashi still caught in the desk, exhausted from trying everything he could think of to extract himself from the trap.

Iruka gave a purely malicious grin. "I told you Hokage, I told you he would try to get it! He's totally obsessed!"

Kakashi groaned and let his head fall to the desk. He was going to get it now. Caught red handed. He was a jounin, how could he be this stupid?

Tsunade frowned at him. "I'm afraid I have to agree with Iruka, Kakashi. You're obsessed. Sneaking into classrooms, attacking _children_? This has to be stopped! I'm sorry Kakashi but I am going to have to take that book."

Kakashi gaped at her. "What! You can't do that! It's a personal item!"

"But it's interfering with your job. It is my duty to see that this stops here. And as for your punishment, you will be aiding Iruka with his students."

"WHAT!"

"For a week." Kakashi groaned and hid his head in his free arm. He couldn't bear the look of triumph on Iruka's face. Tsunade held up the book. "I am going to keep this somewhere safe, so that you won't find it again. IF you can show me that you have grown up a little I _might, _just let you have it back. No promises."

"Yes Hokage," Kakashi mumbled into his elbow. His voice sounded weak, and apparently convince the Hokage, because she ordered Iruka to release him, much to the chunin's disappointment.

But really he was formulating a plan. He _would _get that book back, whether the Hokage was going to give it to him or not. A whole week was just too long to wait.

But he was a man who had been jounin at age thirteen and was now considered the most feared ninja in Konoha. When he wanted something he was going to get it. That book wouldn't stay hidden for long.

-------------------------------------------------------

Backlite: Ok, so this one's a little short.

Kakashi: A _little_?

Backlite: Oh, shut up. Anyway, hope you all are liking it, please review it's nice to hear from people and **constructive** criticism is welcomed.

Thank you.


End file.
